Narrator: Ahh, a perfect day. The sun shining, the birds chirping, not a cloud in the sky. All's well today -
*Narrator cut off by explosion*
Narrator: *Hesitating* Well, almost a perfect day... I wonder where that explosion came from? *Trails off*
(Scene 1: Inside Kyosan's home, specifically the dining room. The crew [excluding Jon and Kyosan] are all sitting behind a large table.)
Lyith: What the hell was that?
Andy: I really could care less - I'm hungry! Where's lunch!?
*Enter Kyosan from side, wearing apron. Face, arms, torso area charred black.*
Kyosan: *Sweatdropping* Eh heh heh, lunch might be a little late.
*Enter Jon from side, also wearing an apron, face also charred black.*
Jon: A "little" late!? Ya mean a little gone!?
Kyosan: Well, I wanted the turkey to cook faster, so I doubled the cooking temperature!
Jon: *Bug-eyed* You did what!?
Kyosan: I doubled the cooking temperature!
Jon: It doesn't work like that! Culinary dishes take time to make!
Kyosan: Well, it was working - until it exploded.
Jon: *Sighing* You moron.
Kyosan: Well ex-cuse me for not being able to cook!
Jon: *Aside* 'Cuz ya never try. Well, you should learn to cook! It's easy!
Kyosan: I don't wanna cook! It's gay!
Jon: *Offended* Gay? Are you referring that I'm gay?
Kyosan: *Chiding* No, but your hobby is.
Jon: Is not!
Kyosan: Is too!
Jon: Is not times a million!
Fox: *Disgruntled* Boys, boys, boys! I've gotten a headache from your squabbling! Shaddap' or I'll kick both of yer asses!
Jon & Kyosan: *Suddenly obedient* Yes ma'am!
Jon: *Whispers to Kyosan* Smooth move. Fox is like a nuclear bomb. When she goes off -
Fox: *Eye twitching* What about me, Jon?
Lyith: *Interrupting* Let's all calm down! We're all obviously very hungry! (to Jon & Kyosan) Make something to eat or this crowd will go nuts!
Kyosan: Like what?
Tessa: I want a sandwich!
Julie: Ooh, I could go for one, too!
Jon: *Pondering* Sandwiches are easy to make... a lotta people wants sandwiches... we have meat and bread in the kitchen... hmmm... of course! I'll make a pizza!
Yusuo: Hell, as long as it's edible, it's fine with me.
Kyosan: But we don't have any dough or the other stuff that goes on pizzas!
Jon: Then we'll hafta improvise! I'm sure with my creative cooking skills and your critical thinking, we can make a pizza - better than any pizza made on the face of this earth! Whaddya say!? Up to it, Kyosan!?
Kyosan: ... Pizzas require tomato sauce, right?
*Everyone in the room except Kyosan falls over and sweatdrops*
Kyosan: What?
*Exeunt*
Narrator: Well, it seems that Jon and Kyosan have a hard task set for them! Making a pizza out of non-pizza related household foods? Count me out!
(Scene 2: In the kitchen. Kyosan digging through cupboard. Jon standing in front of counter, obviously in stress.)
Kyosan: Vinegar?
Jon: Nah. Too salty.
Kyosan: Soy sauce?
Jon: Blech! Who eats that crap, anyway!?
Kyosan: I like soy sauce!... What about cloves?
Jon: Soy sauce is way too salty! It's like garlic ground up into a mush! No cloves.
Kyosan: Soy sauce tastes great! *smirks* Only the real men can handle soy sauce. How about ginseng?
Jon: *sighs* Okay Kyosan. We're making a pizza here. That means we don't need these stupid condiments. Try to find something that will or could go on a pizza.
Kyosan: But you said that we were going to make a pizza without using any pizza-related foods!
Jon: Because we don't have pizza-related foods. Now start finding some stuff that could go on a pizza.
Kyosan: But those are pizza-related foods! "Stuff that could go on a pizza" are pizza-related foods!
Jon: *Slightly losing temper* No they're not! They wouldn't normally go on a pizza! So they're not pizza-related foods!
Kyosan: But pizza-related foods are anything related to pizzas, and essentially pizza is a food, and food is food, so all foods are pizza-related foods.
Jon: You lost me.
Kyosan: Yutz.
Jon: Booger-brain.
Kyosan: Dumb head.
Jon: Jerk.
Kyosan: Dilapidated dog-breathed cow!
Jon: Idiotic and moronic -
Narrator: Boys! Stop this fussing!
Kyosan: Quiet, you insolent voice who only restates the obvious over and over again! You're just as bad as the narrators in animes who narrate the extreme obvious to keep the attention of the brain-dead world! Your kind is totally unwel -
Jon: *Covering Kyosan's mouth* Shh! You don't argue with the Narrator! Narrators can totally screw you over!
Kyosan: Really, eh? *Sarcastically* Ooh! The big bad Narrator is gonna get me! Ooh! Perchance I should run away? I'm so afraid!
Narrator: And then the refridgerator fell ontop of Kyosan.
*Refridgerator topples onto the unsuspecting Kyosan.*
Jon: Toldja.
Kyosan: ... Gasp! *Struggling to breathe*
Narrator: But all of a sudden, the fridge magically teleported away!
*Fridge vanishes, Kyosan's breathing returns to normal again*
Narrator: Now don't you boys have a job to do? Like making a pizza?
*Jon and Kyosan nod simultaneously*
Narrator: Good.
Jon: All right. With that despute behind us, shall we get back to focus here?
Kyosan: *Nodding* Right. The pizza... the... pizza... yes... that... pizza... Oh, god! I can't take much more of this! Stop! Stop the film!
The camera stopped rolling. Kyosan sighed, head sunken. The director ran up to the two actors.
"What's wrong, Kyosan?"
"I'm sorry," Kyosan started. "It's just the script! It's... horrendous! It's stupid!"
"It be the most whacked up P.O.S I've seen," Jon spoke with a Harlemslang.
"Yeah. That's it."
Jon whipped out the script from his back pocket. "I mean, peep at dis here! The pizza ends up being uh cookie!"
The rest of the gang stormed to the director, obviously all pissed off.
"What's wrong with ya'll writers? Have ya gon' dumb or sumthin?" Andy growled.
"Will thoust change the manuscript? Thine fears that thee script has gone corrupt," Lyith added.
"Okay, okay. We'll scrap this episode. I'll get the writers to come up with something good." The director finalized. "Now head off to your trailers. You all look beat. They should have a brand new script tomorrow - and it will be good!"
Everyone cheered. They walked out of the studio to go to their finely furnished trailers.
"I'm takin' a nap. My body hurts like hell."
"I'm getting somethin ta' eat. Don't wait up! Wha 'chew thinkin' man!?"
"I will - nay - I shall repent for thine sins of foul cursing. Will anyone accompany thine to the temple of the holy presence?"
The next day...
"All right, everyone! I've talked with the writers, and they have stayed up all night, creating the script for only omake purposes," The director announced, proudly.
"In other werdz, dat's one o' uh kind?" Jon asked.
"Yes."
"Finally, a script that we can all enjoy!" Fox grinned.
"Great. Your costumes are on the rack." The director commented, pointing to the rack.
"Costumes?" Tessa asked.
"A Masquerade ball? Thyest simply ravished by lavishing socialities and such." Lyith dreamed, stars in her eyes.
"What the hell iz she saying!?" Jon asked.
"She likes parties. Andy no, it's not a party," The director reaffirmed.
"A party!? I'm da life o' aw parties!" Jon stated.
"Whateva. C'mon, let's get ready." Kyosan stated, hopping into his costume.
"That's tight, yo - I mean," Jon cleared his throat. "Right. C'mon everyone, let's go!"
"Hold it - " the director announced.
Everyone froze in their position, whether putting on their costume or running to place.
"Everyone, before we begin, the writers told me that we needed to find another actor. So I spent all morning looking for one - and I did!"
"Wha!?" Kyosan went bug-eyed.
"Another actor?" Falcon asked.
The group gathered.
"Guy or girl?" Daeg jumped in.
"He's a guy," The director responded. Immediately after, he was bombarded with questions.
"What's his name?"
"How old is he?"
"Is he cute?"
"Is he - "
"My name is Quinn," The mysterious new character calmly spoke, silencing the babbling actors and actresses. WOW! A grand debut in an Omake post! A rare moment that must be savored!
Everyone stood in awe. There was something unique about this tall character.
Fox stepped forward. "My name's Fox. I'm the leader of this rag-tag group."
"Whassap, Quinn!" Jon started, raising his arm for a high-five. Jon frowned. "Don't leave me hangin', or I'll bust ya up, foo'!"
Quinn blinked a couple of times. "E-excuse me?"
"Jon!" Kyosan said sternly, slapping the back of Jon's head. "Ebonics filter! No one can understand you!"
"Huh? Why you talkin' to me like that!? I - " Jon stopped, coughing and clearing his throat. "Hiya, Quinn. The name's Jon," Paying attention to Quinn again.
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "What's with him?"
"Don't worry about him. He was raised in the Bronx. No one can understand him. My name is Tessa. Nice ta meet'cha!" Tessa said, smiling, then winked.
"Eh-hem. People? We have a tight schedule! Let's wrap things up," The director announced.
"Right. My name is Julie."
"Andy."
"Lyith."
"Daeg."
"Ni!"
"Yusuo."
"Thane."
"Leiko."
"Vance."
"Adam."
"Falcon."
"Kismet."
"And me, Mew!"
"Alright peoples, get in place!"
"Ack! C'mon everyone!"
"Let's break a leg!"
"... 3... 2... 1... action!"
Narrator: In the bustling city of Daevon, all is well. The economy is soaring, life is blooming, as they say.
(Scene 1: In classroom. Boys wearing white collar shirt with blue tie and dark pants. Girls in long skirt with white blouse. Jon is sitting in the back. Teacher up in front, lecturing on some boring stuff.)
Jon: ... This is so boring. *Begins to doze off*
Teacher #1: *Notices Jon* Jon!
Jon: ... Zz... *snort* Huh? Wha?
Teacher #1: Are you finding chemistry uninteresting?
Jon: Well... yeah.
*Class giggles at remark*
Teacher #1: So I see... well, it might be a little more interesting if you paid attention!
Jon: But then I'll fall asleep again!
*Class giggles again*
Teacher #1: Are you testing my patience? Cuz if you are, there's a referral with your name on it!
Jon: *Sighing* I have enough of those already.
*Bell rings*
Jon: Thank god!
*Exeunt*
(Scene 2: Hallway. lockers are along the wall, students just chilling until next period. Enter Jon and Lyith.)
Jon: Hey sis!
Lyith: Huh? Jon?
Jon: Whassap!?
Lyith: Eh. Nothing much. Tired as usual.
Jon: How'd your math test go?
Lyith: *Sweatdropping* You could say I've learned a lot from it.
Jon: Aww, sis! What's wrong? Didn't you study?
Lyith: I couldn't. Remember the mingle outside our house yesterday? The street war? I took cover the minute bullets started flying! I didn't turn on a light until I was sure the battle was over - and that was around 11 at night!
Jon: Oh yeah. I woulda done something about it, but I was at the wrestling match. But still - why didn't you study after? I mean, it was only 11.
Lyith: There were ambulances all over the place, along with police guys. I couldn't study knowing that people had died outside of my house.
Jon: People got killed?
Lyith: I was just assuming with all the ambulances around.
Jon: So ya had to take a peek?
Lyith: I just watched from a window.
*Enter Andy, struggling down the hall with loads of books*
Andy: Hey hey, everybody!
Jon: Heya, Andy.
Lyith: Why so many books?
Andy: Some stupid project - listen - I gotta get going. The bell's gonna ring any second, and I don't wanna be late. You guys should get going, also. *Exit*
Jon: Anyway - didja see any victims?
Lyith: I think so. Some people were getting pulled into an ambulance.
*Bell rings*
Jon: Damn it! We're late! Aww crap - I'll - I'll see ya later, Lyith! *Exit*
Lyith: *calling after* See ya! *Exit*
(Scene 3: In a different classroom, different school. Different uniform (khaki pants and white shirt w/ vest over for men, white blouse and short blue skirt or khakis for women. Fox and Kyosan are in the class among other students, all in rush to get out.)
Teacher #2: Before the bell rings, your homework is Chapter 12, lesson review 3 and 4.
*PA buzzes in*
PA: Attention all students and faculty: as you may have heard, last night, some students of our school were locked in a street fight against Seyul High School. Fortunately, the results of the battle were no deaths, only injuries. But injuries received by students at our school, Taosha High. Students take precaution not to get involved in any fights and contact authorities if one is being engaged. As you know, gang activity has increased sharply within the last months in our town. Please stay safe and exert a positive and benevolent attitude toward others. Thank you.
Kyosan: *to Fox* Have ya heard about the most recent street war?
Fox: Yeah. It's a shame how people can get so pig-headed over stupid things.
Kyosan: I'm guessing the gangs were both high at the time.
Fox: Well, whad'dya expect from students of Seyul? Just a buncha druggies.
Kyosan: *Sarcastic* Oh, you're nice.
Fox: Bite me.
*Bell rings, students rush out of class*
(Scene 4: In hallway; lockers in background. Kyosan preparing to leave after a day of school. Kyosan looks up and sees Yusuo.)
Kyosan: Hey Yusuo!
*Yusuo continues walking*
Kyosan: Huh? Hey! Wait up!
Yusuo: Leave me alone.
Kyosan: What? "Leave me alone"?
Yusuo: Go away.
Kyosan: What's wrong with you? You're never this pessimistic!
Yusuo: If you don't want to get hurt, then leave me alone.
Kyosan: *Stops Yusuo* What the hell is with you!?
Yusuo: *Punches Kyosan in gut* I told you! Leave me alone!
Kyosan: *Coughing* Why are you being such a jerk!? *Slowly retires offstage*
Yusuo: It's my sister.
Kyosan: *Turning around* Huh? You mean Tessa?
Yusuo: Yeah.
Kyosan: Well, what's wrong?
Yusuo: You heard about the last street war, right?
Kyosan: Of course.
Yusuo: ... She got caught in the heat of the battle. She was shot.
Kyosan: *Gasp* Oh my god! Is she okay?
Yusuo: Yeah. Fortunately, she was shot in the shoulder.
Kyosan: That's some relief.
Yusuo: A little relief.
Kyosan: Is she in the hospital?
Yusuo: Yeah. I'm headed off to the hospital right now. I'm gonna protect her - just in case those damned Seyul bastards show up. Hey - I gotta get going. Sorry about hitting you, Kyosan. *Exit*
Kyosan: Yeah. No problem. *Exit*
(Scene 5: At the park. This is where students and people hang out after school, work, etc. to play and relax. Jon is baking in the sun on a park bench. Enter Julie, exhausted after a day of school.)
Jon: Eh? Hey! Julie! Over here!
Julie: Jon? Heya! What'cha doin?
Jon: Me? Just sitting under the sun. You could say I'm recollecting my thoughts.
Julie: Meditation?
Jon: Kinda. I don't like the word meditate. I feel like a hippie.
*Enter Daeg and other 4 Taosha students*
Daeg: Hey! They're Seyul schoolies! I recognize those tacky ties anywhere!
Jon: Huh? Taosha students?
Julie: Uh oh. Do you think they're looking for a fight to prove their worth?
Daeg: We can kick his butt! He's from Seyul!
Jon: *Serious* Look - I don't wanna fight. I don't have a problem with your school or anything like that. Besides - relax. The heat is getting to ya.
Daeg: Ha! Wussin out, huh?
Jon: Me? Wuss out? As if!
Daeg: Surrrrre. *To Taosha students* He's afraid to fight! *Giggles*
Jon: *Standing up* I tried not to fight, but now that you provoked me, I'll wipe the floor with ya. Julie, stay outta this.
Julie: Jon, this isn't smart! 5 on 1? You'll get creamed!
Jon: Yaaaah!
*They fight. In moments, Jon is lying on the ground, badly beaten. He obviously lost*
Daeg: Ha! You fight like a girl! Ha ha! *Exit*
Jon: Grr... *yelling* Bastards! I'll get you for this!
Julie: Oh? You're going to get them for your beating?
Jon: Oh yeah! They're screwed!
Julie: Andy how are they going to "get screwed"?
Jon: *Smirking* I'll show Taosha a thing or two about Seyul pride.
Julie: Oh no. No pranks.
Jon: Of course I'll do a prank!
Julie: You'll only get yourself in lotsa trouble. Do you want to get expelled?
Jon: I got to. It is my duty as a Seyul student - besides! It's Taosha High I'm gonna screw up! Hey - where's Andy? I'll need help. Are you gonna give me a hand?
Julie: No thanks. Dirty tricks are not my cup of tea.
*Jon starts laughing fiendishly and runs offstage. Julie sighs, then walks offstage. Unknown to Jon or Julie, behind a tree, Leiko overheard the plan and saw the fight.*
Leiko: I'd better tell Tessa about this! Yusuo's school is the target of a prank! *Exit*
(Scene 1: At Taosha High School, the next day. Students arriving to the campus are greeted by a message via graffiti on the school walls. Enter Quinn.)
Quinn: *Reads message to himself* "Taosha High blows goat balls"? Hmm... only Seyul would be dumb enough to do something like this.
*Enter Yusuo in a rushed and frantic mood*
Yusuo: *Reading message* Damn it! They already pranked us!
Quinn: *Overhearing* Who? Seyul High School?
Yusuo: Yeah.
Quinn: Are you sure it's Seyul? It could've been anyone in this town.
Yusuo: No. My younger sister's friend saw a fight between our school and Seyul. We beat Seyul, but they planned a prank against us... and I'm guessing this is it.
Quinn: Some prank.
Yusuo: I'm gonna show them what a real prank is! *runs offstage*
Quinn: *Sighing* Pathetic. *Walks into school*
(Scene 2: At Seyul High School in classroom. Hours after first prank. Almost lunch time.)
Jon: Hee hee hee. I nailed Taosha good.
Lyith: Huh? What did you do?
Jon: You can say I wrote a catchy phrase for the school.
Lyith: Oh really? What was it?
Jon: *Snickering* "Taosha High blows goat balls!"
Lyith: -_-;; So immature.
*Class is interrupted by sounds like "splat" originating from the outdoors*
Jon: What the hell?
*Windows get hit with soft blubbery thingy and explodes, causing a foul stench and a grimey mess on the window*
Lyith: What's going on!?
*Class in riot. Jon and Lyith and few other classmates peer out window*
Yusuo: *From outside* Hope you enjoy some rotten eggs! Huh! *Heaving egg*
Jon: That bastard! I'm gonna kill him! *Runs outta classroom*
Lyith: Be careful, Jon!
Student #1: Augh! He's mooning us!
Lyith: What!? *Snoops out window* Ewww! That jerk! Get him, Jon!
*Yusuo runs off stage, laughing. Jon chases in hot pursuit*
(Scene 3: In downtown of city. Yusuo is getting chased by Jon and other angry Seyul students [Andy, Julie, Ni, and others].)
Yusuo: You guys are too slow!
Jon: Shaddap!! If ya wanna live, you'd better keep running!
*During entire chase through town, they are tripping over carts, people, boxes, etc. Tessa and Leiko are relaxing outside at a fast food hangout. Yusuo and the Seyul corp runs by*
Tessa: Hey! That was Yusuo!
Leiko: But he's getting chased by a buncha people!
Tessa: C'mon! Let's follow him! This looks interesting!
*Tessa and Leiko run after Yusuo*
*Scene 4: At Taosha High campus. Lunch time. Kyosan, Fox, Quinn, and Daeg are eating and conversing outside under a tree when Yusuo runs up, outta breath.*
Kyosan: Yusuo! Where have you been all morning!? You ditched school!
Yusuo: *Panting* Run... ning... out... ta... breath...
*Seyul students run up and face Taosha students*
Jon: You egged our school!
Yusuo: Only after you graffitied our school!
Andy: Do you guys know how long it will take to rid our school of the rotten egg stench you put upon us?
Quinn: Does Seyul High know the damage caused by ruining a part of our school through the resorts of vandalism?
*Enter Tessa and Leiko*
Yusuo: Tessa!? What are you doing here!?
Tessa: *Shrugging* Just saw you got chased, and I wanted to see what was up.
Yusuo: Get out of here! Seyul's gonna jump at our throats any second!
Julie: What do you mean us? It would be you first, the blood thirsty savages that you are.
Tessa: Hey! My brother is not a blood thirsty savage!
Ni: And who are you?
Kyosan: Yusuo's younger sister. The girl that Seyul shot in the shoulder from the street war a few days ago.
*Enter Lyith*
Lyith: Stop arguing! This is completely trivial!
Jon: Too late to talk things over! Taosha has insulted us to the limit!
Fox: Andy the same goes with Seyul!
Jon: So the only thing left is a fight...
Kyosan: *Stepping forward* Are you insisting that we dance?
Jon: *Smirking and stepping forward* I'll teach you the black and blue waltz!
Daeg: *Stepping up* Ha! I wouldn't worry at all! He can't fight if his life depended on it!
Julie: *Stepping forward* That's because you outnumbered him!
Fox: Birds of a feather stick together. Seems like Seyul needs to understand the power of friendship. *Stepping up*
Andy: You guys have no honor!
Kyosan: Alright! Woah! Stop! Stop! Stop filming!
Everyone sighed.
"Now what's wrong, Kyosan?" Asked the director.
"The first script was just stupid. This script is just boring and corny. The writers flogged up again!" Kyosan exclaimed.
"I agree width mah brotha. It be the most whacked up piece of crap!" Jon shouted.
"So make another Omake script?" The director asked.
"Nay; Thee efforts shalt be wasted if thine done so," Lyith spoke crisply.
Everyone agreed: They had enough omake for a while. They started leaving for the dressing room to change out of their costumes.
"Aww, c'mon! I have a real good omake idea... " The director started.
"Eh?" Everyone turned around.
The director grinned. "Has anyone ever seen Scream?"