The memories... in a small tavern somewhere, a depressed chimera is getting drunk with a feisty sorceress and a sweet-yet-clueless swordsman, in an effort to repress the memory of a lost childhood companion (among other things). On the same night, a mysterious, shadowy woman with an unseen weight on her shoulders has also wandered into town, with a hidden agenda...

The plan... why is a mysterious dark cleric trying to capture Zel? Exactly who is 'Shade', and where do her loyalties lie? And where the hell are Gourry and Lina when you need 'em?!

The truth... she isn't what she seems. A story that started twelve years ago is about to finally wind up. And before it does, she will change his life... again...

Oh, c'mon - if I was the one who created Slayers, why the hell would I be sitting around writing fanfics?! It and all its characters belong to Tokyo TV and Softx, or at least that's what the video's telling me (even Zel-sama...*sob*...). The quotes before each chapter are from Fields of Gold, which is by Sting, tho' I heard it on Eva Cassidy's CD, Songbird. Other than that, this fanfic is an entirely original work that's © me, Shade the Wandering Artist, AKA Fox Lee. Plus, of course, Shade is my own character. Plagiarism will result in dismemberment, decapitation or Dragon Slave, depending on my mood at the time.

At the time I wrote this, I'd only actually seen about six episodes of Slayers, and hadn't encountered anyone besides Lina, Gourry, Zel, and some Amelia. So I guess this is an alternate storyline, say if Zel hadn't split up with the others after Shabranigido's defeat.

Send 'em to me at bitemegraphics@gmail.com (ur...well...maybe not the flames...I am sensitive, after all...and this is my first shot at a Slayers fic, so please be nice!).

Gimmicky promo stuff

The internet is rife with my drawings and stories! What, you've never seen any? Well, if this disclaimer hasn't already scared you away, you could always check out my stuff at http://foxlee.arts-eclectic.com. Pretty please (cue the big, trembling eyes)?!

What's that? You actually like my fic? In that case, you can post it on your Slayers page if ya want! Oh! You will? ^.^ *claps*! Just e-mail me to let me know, okay?

[ top ]

The Days Still Left

Prologue

"See the children run as the sun goes down,
As you lie in fields of gold."

She gathered her unruly blonde hair into a loose knot at the base of her neck, and re-positioned the pack on her shoulders. It had been a long walk, and it would be longer still...

"But we're almost there! Listen, you can go back if you want to, but I'm gonna keep going until I reach the top. Now are you coming with me, or not?"

A quill, a sheet of parchment. Another sketch, another song, another offering from a heart so weighted by memory... the echo of what had gone before... the scene she would see again and again...

It hurt to have left him. It ached to spend so many years running from him. But it would change. She almost had what she sought. Soon...then she would return to him...

Within the jewel's blood-coloured depths, the image of the tall, thin man ran one finger around the rim of the chalice. "So you have found the man we seek?"

He glared at her. "Then what are you doing contacting me? You know what to do - bring him to me, immediately!"

"Are you refusing to co-operate?" His eyes narrowed, but he appeared calm, almost curious.

He let the silence fester for another long moment, as if allowing her time to rethink.

"Yes. Had it been anyone else, I might have gone through with your plan, no matter how ugly. But I won't hurt Zelgadis Greywords, not for you, not for anyone."

"It may interest you to know that he will still die, no matter what you do. Now that you have come this far, the only life you can save is your own. Isn't that what you want, Shade? Isn't that what you have always wanted, since I first found you?"

He shook his head. "Shade by name and shade by nature, but still a woman at heart." He held out his left hand, palm upward, and let the magic energy flare from the symbols tattooed there. "This is your last chance to reconsider your foolish decision. Come back to me, and you can finally grasp the true life you crave, not the shallow mockery of it that you retain now. Just return, and I shall renew the spell. Then you will endure long enough to live again."

"On the other hand, you could leave now, follow the human weakness that binds you to a man who doesn't even remember you. The spell will lose effect before the month is out, and you will be pulled back into the world of the dead, where you belong. And this time, there will be no bringing you back. Choose wisely, I beseech you."

She knew it was hopeless. She knew it was stupid. But it was all she could do.

"Farewell, Vyrus," she smiled sadly at the jewel. "We may be enemies now, but I won't forget what you've done for me."

"No, you won't," he said calmly. "It will be the last thing you remember as you finally die for good. Go, then. Spend your last precious moments telling him that his death is as near as yours, if you have the courage to tell him the truth."

She walked on. And once again, she was alone. She had left behind the only thing keeping her alive in exchange for the only thing she loved...

[ top ]

Chapter 1

"Many years have passed since those summer days..."

Zelgadis Greywords shook his head in mock-pity as the small, red-headed woman opposite him began to plow her way through the steaming dishes before them. Lina Inverse was hardly demure in her normal state, but at mealtimes, she was literally frightening. Next to the red-haired sorceress, her sword-wielding compatriot Gourry Gabriev was little better - an onlooker would have likely gotten the impression that the pair were in competition, so determined were they to keep frantic pace with each other. Zelgadis, for his part, merely looked on with a mixture of wonderment and unease as he sipped cool ale and occasionally sampled the odd morsel of food that somehow remained unscathed by either of his enthusiastic companions. No matter how many meals he shared with the irrepressible duo, there was a certain...edge...that such events seemed unable to lose.

Times like this, both Lina and Gourry reminded him of someone else whom he recalled as having had a voracious appetite (for both food and life in general) and a playfully wicked sense of humour. He'd never mentioned it to either of them, of course, but it inspired under his calm exterior a violently contrasting mixture of emotions. His childhood with her had been so vibrant, so happy - quite possibly the best times in his life. But then, she had just disappeared. He remembered waking up that morning so well...his body had been on fire inside, his vision obscured by a sheen of cold sweat, his mouth dry, his mind numbed. They told him he'd had a fever, one that had lasted for over a week - twelve days, in fact, since they had found him at the base of the waterfall near the edge of the village. They didn't know how he'd gotten there, and he didn't remember - it hurt to try. But he did remember Liala - how they had set off toward the falls together, twin wooden swords ready to fend off imagined trolls and make-believe dragons. They had climbed the rocks near the falls - him admittedly a little reluctantly - but after that, he could remember nothing.

He hadn't said a word about her ever again. In fact, he'd even shut out the memory of his childhood companion, determined not to let it become his weakness. But Lina and Gourry, his chance companions, had brought the it back to life...

He was literally jolted out of his thoughts as a pewter beer mug impacted with his forehead, a little spark flying off as it clanged of his rock-hard, pale turquoise skin. Apparently, Lina and Gourry had gotten into a rather violent (and probably half-drunken) row over the last drumstick. Watching them with the expression of an overworked parent surveying two hyperactive children, the chimera calmly ducked out of the path of various airborne eating utensils (or, when he simply couldn't be bothered, letting then clink harmlessly off him). As the squabble progressed into an all-out brawl, Zelgadis decided that it would be for the good of all concerned (or, at least, the good of a certain chimera's stomach) if he disposed of the offending morsel before it could cause any more trouble.

"Zelgadis!" Gourry whined, the first to notice the sudden absence of their coveted prize. "No fair! I wanted that!"

The swordsman was abruptly floored from behind, and stepped on several times as his sorceress companion charged at Zel, crying, "that last drumstick was mine! You'll pay for that!"

Mid-tackle, Lina suddenly remembered that her intended victim was one-third golem. Not soon enough to stop herself from slamming face-first into his chest. Zel sighed as Lina slowly sunk to the ground, with a small groan and a deal of convulsive twitching.

"Are you quite finished?" He asked, regarding her calmly with his head cocked slightly to one side.

"I... ding... I... broge... by... dose..." Lina managed, as Gourry obligingly lifted her by the armpits and set her on her feet again.

"You drink too much, Lina Inverse," Zel informed her, to a snicker from her companion. "Don't laugh, Gourry - so do you."

Zel tapped his forehead, with the dull clack of stone on stone. "I have a slightly stronger constitution than you."

Gourry shrugged in his usual 'big, dumb puppy' way, and Zel, in an uncharacteristic moment of nastiness, told himself that he should probably limit himself to two syllables when addressing Gourry Gabriev. Lina muttered something about how certain people ought to at least give folks a little warning if they were planning on being rock-solid, and wandered off in search of seconds. Gourry, after realising that Zel had nothing more to add, trotted after her.

Zel sighed again. Everything was so much simpler for his two companions. It seemed decidedly unfair that Gourry's only real drawback was his slight lack of intellect, and Lina had it easy even if she wasn't as... well-endowed... as your average female. Neither drawback even came close to Zel's problems. He had never really been one to complain (just to swear revenge and spend the rest of his life exacting it) but at the moment, he was damn close to indulging himself in the emotions he usually refrained from displaying. Depression. Jealousy. Spite.

His leg hit something solid. A few moments' worth of glancing around revealed that he'd obviously been moving around whilst lost in his thoughts - he was now standing in front of the tavern's small bar, having just walked into a stool.

Depressed, deep in 'thought' and mostly drunk, the chimera shaman swayed tentatively back and forth as he stumbled his way through the town. He had originally intended to go to the inn they had planned to stay in tonight, but a slight problem had presented itself in the fact that he had apparently forgotten where it was. Realizing somehow that he was, therefore, likely to get lost, he had turned back to the tavern.

However, a second problem had come up - he had also forgotten the location of the tavern (though if slightly more sober he might have realised that he'd only ever taken three steps out the door in the first place). So, he had simply ended up wandering aimlessly about the town, hoping that the little red-haired lady with the four heads and her cohort of five blonde swordsmen weren't following him.

The drunken chimera felt the ground sloping away under his feet a moment too late to stop himself from falling sideways into the river that ran through the town. As he suddenly found himself waist-deep in murky, cold water, Zelgadis' clouded mind only registered one thing...

"I got' spell for this..." he mumbled, to no-one in particular. "Lets me go 'n the water..." The chimera concentrated hard, clumsily recited a few words, and miraculously managed to achieve the intended effect of the spell - a large, clear bubble suddenly popped out of nowhere.

"Tha' doesn' look right..." Zel slurred, gazing at his creation with a confused expression. "You shoul' be down 'ere...'ey, c'mon back down, 'kay? There's' good bubble..."

A slight breeze picked up the bubble on its way past, gently pulling it along. Unable to comprehend why his spell was running away, Zel began to chase after it, trying to coax it back to him in odd sing-song tones as if it were a puppy.

After a few minutes of chasing the bubble, something else forced its way into his blurry vision - apparently, there was a trio of attractive, sandy-blonde haired women in green cloaks standing in front of him, who all shared an annoying habit of swaying back and forth.

"Who're you?" Zel asked, in an effort for a better look. Then, he noticed that his bubble had floated away. "Aw...damn...look...y' made m' lose m' spell...an' was such a good li'l spell, too..."

He gazed wistfully after his runaway conjuration, then muttered, "I don' feel so good..." as his knees gave out beneath him...good thing those three nice ladies were there to break his fall...

She leaned over him, watching him with sad, longing eyes. Both foreign and familiar, like something he should recognise, something that was not lost but only hidden, lingering on the edge of his consciousness and waiting to be touched once more...

Suddenly, the world was imploding, and his brain was caught inside it. Above him, the world was spinning slow, dizzying circles. Below, he could feel a firm yet soft surface, but he still had the sickening sensation that it was dissolving beneath him and dropping him into oblivion. His throat burned painfully with the hot threat of nausea, and there was something cool, soft and wet on his forehead.

Zel gave himself a few minutes to focus better, at least waiting for the room to stop spinning, while he reached up to find out what the wet thing was. He held it in front of him, and, once it had blurred into focus, confirmed that it was a small, folded towel. Lina and Gourry must have come across him last night and brought him back to the inn, then. He could just picture their smug grins.

He sat up with the intention of surveying the room. Big mistake. He was instantly attacked by a combination of headspins and stomach-lurches, and, feeling the heat in his throat rising, he leaned over the side of the bed and violently threw up. It never occurred to the chimera (understandably so, as he was rather occupied at the time) that somebody had somehow placed a large chamber-pot in exactly the right place to avoid any mess.

The chimera hung over the edge of the bed for a few moments, feeling positively miserable, before rolling onto his back again with a groan..

"I don't believe it..." he muttered. He hadn't gotten drunk in years (unless you counted last night, of course). What the hell had he been thinking?! The only time he'd ever really drunk too much was right near the beginning of his chimera-hood, when both depression and curiosity had driven him to find out how much his new body could handle (which had, incidentally, turned out to be a lot). Was he really that upset over Liala's disappearance all those years ago? He might be, he reasoned. After all, back then, he had never really given himself a chance to deal with it...last night had probably been the release of years' worth of pent-up depression...

He sat up again (very slowly), this time managing to hold down the nausea, and glanced at his surroundings. Strange - the room was quite large and well-furnished, looking a deal more expensive than the money-hungry Lina was likely to cough up for.

Woah. Hold on. Did this bed have four-posters...and were those walls marble? Was that a balcony outside of those decorated full-length windows? He blinked in surprise. Where in the world was he?!

There was a polite knock at the doors, to which Zel mumbled, "come in...". Anything that would give him an excuse to stop thinking.

A maid entered the room, carrying a pile of neatly-folded, bone-coloured garments topped by a pair of shoes. "Your clothes, Sir. They've been cleaned, as requested."

In response, she held out a small square of parchment, folded in half, that bore an odd-looking design on the front (a rune, perhaps, though it was one he didn't recognise). Not knowing what else to do, he accepted it, and the maid immediately curtsied politely and hastily left the room - presumably to avoid further questioning.

He unfolded the paper, and was confronted by a note in an unfamiliar, flowing hand.

It ended with the same odd symbol as had been on the front, as a sort of signature. Not at all cryptic, Zel thought bitterly. Oh, well. At least he knew where he was now.

He glanced at the small bedside table to his right. Sure enough, a small, innocent glass bottle sat there, half-full of something murky and brown. Suspiciously, he uncorked it and sniffed. There was no odour.

The first thing that sprang to his mind was those lethal, odourless and tasteless poisons that were so popular amongst assassins, and how quickly and easily one could kill even a magic-wielding chimera. The second thing was that if someone was to go to the bother of carting several hundred pounds' worth of said chimera to some lord's castle and see that he was bathed, housed and cared for (and that his clothes were cleaned, by the gods), there would be very little point to killing him afterwards.

All this thinking was making his head hurt even worse. With a shrug, he quaffed the contents of the bottle, and immediately wished he hadn't as he fought back another wave of nausea. It may have been odourless, but damn, it tasted awful. Quickly, he followed it with the glass of water that also happened to be on the nightstand, evidence that his mysterious helper had anticipated his need for it.

He lay back again, and attempted to process his whereabouts. Near the border of Drynn and Ebrus, the letter had said. He'd never heard of either. But it couldn't be too far from Relgarna, where he was currently supposed to be. Unless there was magic involved, few people could carry somebody who was one-third golem all that far. He'd have to check whether the river Rel ran through here - if it did, all he would have to do would be follow it. But upriver, or downriver? He'd have to ask...

Surprisingly, he found himself feeling a little better. Maybe he should take the note's advice (well, doing so had worked to his benefit thus far) and have that bath. Leaning over, he retrieved the robe mentioned in the letter with surprisingly little protest from either his head or his stomach. As he wrapped himself in it, it occurred to him for the first time that he hadn't been wearing anything in bed. The thought upset him a little - he hated his body, and let it be seen by as few people as was possible. Bitterly, he imagined them staring, repulsed, at the fragments of green-ish rock that dotted his skin, wondering what god had cursed this poor man.

He made his way to the door that the note had indicated, trying to repress the thoughts. His anger was starting to make his head hurt again, and he didn't need that right now.

There was a bath drawn, waiting, sending out inviting clouds of steam in his direction. He would worry about everything else later. There would always be time for worrying...

[ top ]

Chapter 2

"You can tell the sun in his jealous sky..."

"Lina," Gourry whispered, gently prodding the sorceress with one finger. "Lina, are you awake?"

Lina groaned. Not yet! Just a few more minutes... she rolled over and ignored him, pretending she was still asleep.

"Okay, fine," Gourry shrugged. "Then I won't tell you that Zel never came in last night, and no-one's seen him anywhere."

Moments later, an violent explosion rocked the small town. Apparently, Lina Inverse was awake.

"Lina, I think Zel must have left..." Gourry leaned against a wall in the shade, fanning himself with one hand in a feeble effort to combat the heat of the day. "We've searched this town three times over, and no-one's even seen him."

"I don't believe it!" Lina was snarling. "How can an entire town full of people miss a guy with purple hair and green skin and little rocks stuck in his face?! It's not as if he blends in!"

"Hey, Lina," the swordsman nudged her, gesturing toward a tall, cloaked-and-hooded figure who was apparently walking toward them. "I think he's heading for us..."

"Of course he is!" Lina grinned. "He's probably going to ask me to clean out a lair of bandits or monsters or something...after all, I'm Lina the Bandit Killer! The great and powerful, the incredibly beautiful..."

"Are you Gourry Gabriev?" A deep, male voice issued from the shadows created by the hood.

"Strange..." The hood swiveled to regard Lina. "I was told you traveled with a beautiful woman... but I suppose this odd, flat-chested one must be her..." He turned back to the swordsman. "My master has a proposition for you and your partner. Will you come with me and see him?"

Gourry thought he caught a thin smile under the dark hood. With a shrug, the swordsman picked up the sorceress under one arm and prepared to follow the man through the town.

"Aack!" He cried, taken by surprise as he, Lina and the stranger were suddenly engulfed in a swirling, purple void.

"I'm sorry." The cloaked man seemed slightly amused. "Are you unused to teleportation? This void is just a tunnel, of sorts, for quicker travel. My master's home is...a fair distance from Relgarna."

At the home in question, said master slammed his hand into the crystal chalice that rested on the arm of his chair, sending it flying across the marble floor and shattering it into a million tiny pieces, the red wine within pooling on the floor like blood. Worked into a rage, he began to release vicious bursts of magic, blowing huge chunks of rock from the walls and setting intricate tapestries alight.

Shade. He wanted her to die. He wanted to kill her. He wanted to tear apart the woman who had done so to him.

All of his life, Vyrus had dedicated himself to finding the Star of Ascension, an ancient relic of immense power and, if his research was accurate, an almost human intelligence - the Star could sense who a person was, and tell what they would become. When it found a being it deemed powerful enough, it fastened itself to their very soul, becoming as a great reserve of dark power and strength if one knew how to use it correctly. Never mind that if an unworthy being touched it, it lashed out with its potent death magic and killed them. Vyrus was sure that he was strong enough.

After almost a decade of searching for the Star, and the trail had finally led him to a cave where it had been lost over a thousand years ago. The Star was gone, but he could sense its presence - it had been there, up until very recently. Up until it had bonded itself with someone. But who? And where were they now?

That was when he had met her. Of all the things he hadn't expected - a child's ghost, haunting the cave. She was unique in his experience with ghosts, as well - she didn't attempt to scare him away, or even throw his provisions around or light anything on fire. When he had performed a ritual to communicate with her, it turned out that she didn't even remember why she was haunting the cave. She knew she had died there, but that much was obvious. Her memory of her life was almost perfect - unusual for a child - but when she reached the night of her death, she knew nothing.

He realised that she was his lead. She had died on the night the Star had left the cave. Somewhere in her, she knew what had happened. He had to jog her memory somehow...

At a loss for anything else to do, he had utilized a useful little spell of his - something that would free a ghost from its place of death and instead bind it to the caster. And he had added a modification of his own, on impulse - one that would allow her to grow, to age as if she were still living. It was a technique he had perfected over the last ten years, sort of a side project. He had always wanted to test it out.

He had treated her well, let her wander when she desired, and promised to restore to her the life she craved in return for her co-operation in finding the Star Bearer. And she had done so willingly, right up until now. Now, ten years after that first meeting, she had finally found that man, the man who had to die if Vyrus were to gain control of the Star. And he had turned out to be some accursed childhood friend of hers! She had turned against him, her master! He couldn't believe it...after everything he had given her...everything we would've given her...Dammit! That traitorous bitch! How he wanted to kill her! But he couldn't - his spell alone sustained this nether-worldly woman, and it was a spell that could not be unmade, even by his own hand.

He consoled himself; revenge would be his in the end. The only thing left to do was wait, bide his time. There was only one more week until the spell would dissipate unless renewed...and then she was gone, gone forever...

His thoughts were interrupted by an announcement from the outside corridor. "The swordsman Gourry Gabriev and the sorceress Lina Inverse to see you, Lord Vyrus, as you requested."

He calmed himself, trying to recall the names. Ah yes - Zelgadis' friends. His safety net, in case Shade tried to help the chimera. Shade had forgotten what she was, and the fact that it immediately marked her as a threat. He was an expert at this sort of plot...

"Mr. Gabriev...Ms. Inverse..." he nodded respectively at the pair as they entered. "I am glad you came - a friend of yours is in very serious danger..."

[ top ]

Chapter 3

"You'll remember me when the west wind moves..."

Zelgadis certainly felt a world better since the morning. Between the foul-tasting liquid, the bath, and the unexpected hot breakfast which had been brought to him when he'd finished, his hangover headache had almost completely dissipated, reduced to no more than a bearable, dull throb somewhere near the back of his skull. Also unexpectedly, his sword had been returned to him sharpened and polished, looking better than it had in years. When the chimera had asked, awed, why he was being so well looked-after, the reply was a shrug and the statement that the Lord of the Castle owed a favour to the young lady who had brought him in the previous night. A pretty damned big favour, by Zelgadis' reckoning.

He had also, upon his request, been given directions back to Relgarna (as it turned out, Dryn was only a three days' walk north of it, and he could follow the river Rel right back to the town). So, deciding that he had already spent too long, he expressed his gratitude and intention to depart. Following suit with his time there so far, he had been presented with more-than-ample provisions for the journey. It really wasn't necessary, but no-one would hear of the offer being declined, so he had decided it was best to set off before they could furnish him with a carriage and an escort, too.

Four hours later, at an easy stroll alongside the river, he began to feel uneasy. It was that unmistakable, ominous feeling that someone or something was watching, and it annoyed the chimera greatly. He didn't need company right now - he just wanted to catch up with Gourry and Lina.

But the feeling just wouldn't be shaken. So finally, he sighed, tethered the horse to the nearest tree, and drew his sword, and turned to the trail behind him. "I know you're there. You can show yourself."

"There's no real need to," a girl's voice replied, behind him. He spun around, the words of a spell resting on the tip of his tongue, sword ready.

Standing behind him was a young woman. She looked only just adult - perhaps as old as twenty. Her sandy-blonde hair was long and full of body, her eyes bright green and intelligent, her body slender yet firmly-muscled. She wore a loose shirt and trousers, a long cloak, and a sort of skirt that split up the front, all in forest green. Gold greaves clasped her legs from ankle to knee, under a pair of soft, high boots, one folded down around her ankle. Her left shoulder carried a single gold plate of armour, and a sword hung from her belt. And she looked distantly familiar...

That was when he realised where he had seen her before - last night, in his dream. Had it been a premonition?... Or... maybe... a memory?

"In that case, it's nice to finally meet you." He lowered the sword, instead offering a hand to shake. "I owe you a lot for your help."

"An apology." She took a deep breath. Now she would find out if Vyrus had been right, if her childhood friend had forgotten all about her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you, even after you refused to leave me... I'm sorry I hurt you so much..."

"What... what are you talking about?" For once in his life, the chimera sounded more than a little shaken.

"I couldn't stay," she fell to her knees, the pitch of her voice rising slightly. "I tried to, but it made me leave... I wanted to stay with you... but I had to go..."

He took a step back. It couldn't be... could it? She was the right age - almost twenty by now - and the hair and eyes checked out... but... but... that was impossible...

For once, the chimera's exterior, fashioned to be as cold as the stone that was his skin, failed to conceal his emotions. "Liala..." In a sudden, stiff movement, he caught her up in his arms, hugging her with a ferocity that amazed even the chimera himself. "You're alive... you came back..."

She returned it with equal strength, as if she were trying to crush herself into the rock of his body. "It took so long... please forgive me..."

"Once, he did," Zel poked the fire aimlessly with a stick. "But in the end, his bitterness that he couldn't heal himself won out."

"I don't believe it..." There was a green fire in her eyes, one that was so familiar from their young years... "Why would he do that to you?!"

"The colours. I always liked those blue-green shades. At least you didn't turn out bright pink or something."

"What's wrong?" She asked. As a child, she had always been able to make Zelgadis laugh. "That's not how the Zelgadis I knew would have reacted..."

"I'm not the Zelgadis you knew anymore," he said, curtly. "My appearance isn't the only thing that's changed since you knew me, Liala."

"Uh? Oh, it's just something I picked up over the years... somebody started calling me that, and I guess it stuck." Why was she lying? Why did she feel that she needed to?

An awkward silence ensued, during which the crackling of the campfire and the ticking of the minutes both seemed amplified tenfold. Zelgadis stared at the flames again, while Shade absently started sharpening her sword.

"Zelgadis," she finally said, "before, you said that Rezo... changed you... because you wished to be stronger..."

"Why did you wish to be stronger? It was because of me, wasn't it?! I was always telling you how much of a wimp you were, when really all you were was more sensible than me... it's all my fault, isn't it?! I made you wish for strength, and he gave it to you..."

He paused. He knew that, somewhere in him, there was a specific reason, a reason that had something to do with her even, but it was beyond his memory. It always had been. Did it have something to do with that night?...

"I just... I just wanted to be more than what I was," he replied helplessly. It wasn't the truth, but he couldn't let her think it was her fault...

Stone fingers locked around her wrist, violently pulling her to her feet. "How can you talk about deception! You let me think you were dead for twelve years!"

To his astonishment, she pulled away from his grip as if it were made of flesh. "You think I wanted to leave?! All we ever had was each other, Zelgadis! You think I wanted to desert you?!"

"I don't know what you were thinking," he snarled. "I don't even remember what happened the night beforehand. All I know is that when I woke up, you were gone..."

She looked truly miserable, as if all she wanted to do was choke herself. "... I really am sorry..."

This heralded another lengthy silence. She grappled with how to present what she had to tell him next. He berated himself for being so harsh with her, but at the same time, cursed her for lying to him.

"Liala." His turn to break the silence this time. "In the note you left me at the castle, you said that the days to come would not be easy. I assume you meant more so than usual?"

She nodded, concealing an inner sigh of relief - he had just presented her with an opportunity. "That's the foremost reason I came back. You're in a lot of danger."

"This is very, very serious, Zel. A dark cleric is looking for you. He wants something you have, a stone. It is a great reserve of power and knowledge, and he is prepared to kill you to get it."

She shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. This stone, it possesses a sort of being, an intelligence. It has magically attached itself to your soul, somehow without you even realising it, and it won't let go as long as you are alive. Unless..."

"There is a spell, Zelgadis, a spell that I spent the last eight years preparing." That was more or less accurate. Despite what she had let Vyrus believe, she could remember every moment of the night she had died in vivid detail, and had soon realised that Zel was who her lord was after. So she had spent a good portion of those years secretly learning what she could from his spellbooks, in hopes of finding something to save her friend. And when the books you intended to read were under lock and key, being a ghost (even in the solid form Vyrus had given her, she could render herself intangible and invisible with little effort) had certain advantages. "It's chancy, but if it works, it will break the bond between you and the stone. And from there, I can destroy the stone for good."

"Chancy...meaning that if it fails, we both die horribly, or become slaves of darkness, or something along those lines?"

"The former," she replied. "Which is why I'm making it your decision. I don't believe that you can defeat this man, or even escape him. And I know that once he has you in his power, he won't hesitate."

"I trust your judgement - if you think you can defeat him, I won't stop you from trying - and even though I think you will fail, I won't let you do it alone." She grinned crookedly, ironically.

"No!" She cried, alarmed. "No. It is evil, and will subvert the one who uses it, if their heart is not already black. And it carries powerful death magic - were you to attempt to use it without any knowledge of it, it might well destroy you."

"I see," Zel nodded. "So our only real options are your spell or fighting this man as I am."

"All right, as we are. Shade, if this cleric is so powerful, why do you want to destroy the stone? Wouldn't that get him a little upset with you?"

She shook her head. "He has been tracing you through the stone. If it is destroyed, he will lose sight of us."

He breathed deeply, then nodded. "Okay. Do what you have to. And Li, be careful. I waited all my life for you to return."

[ top ]

Chapter 4

"In his arms she fell as her hair came down..."

"He left before lunch this morning," Lina reported to Gourry, who waited at the castle's gate. "He was heading back to Relgarna to meet up with us. She brought him in last night, then left straight away, without saying where she was going. Just like Lord Vyrus said she would..."

"Lina, it seems silly that she would help him out and then try to kill him." The swordsman was clearly having trouble with the concept. "Maybe Vyrus got it wrong?"

"Maybe she's crazy?" Lina shrugged. "Who knows? The point is, she's a ghost, she's after Zel, and he trusts her. We have to save him."

"Come on," Lina pulled him back toward the forest. "If we hurry, we can catch up..."

Shade retrieved what she needed from her pack - the powdered charcoal, the small bottle of blood. The candles - a good thing there was no wind tonight. She set up quickly and efficiently - she had often seen such things done when Vyrus had called on her to help with his own rituals. Carefully, she used the powdered charcoal to create a massive pentagram in the clearing, measuring carefully that the points were in the right places and the shapes was big enough. She didn't like to look at it - it reminded her too much of Vyrus' evil spells - but she would do what she must.

"Shirt off," she ordered, turning to Zelgadis. The chimera looked extremely reluctant, but eventually complied, stripping off his cloak and shirt. Then, at her direction, he stepped into the middle of the pentagram and lay down. Shade took a deep breath, then stepped into the shape beside him.

She began to recite the strange words that she had painstakingly memorised in preparation for the ritual, trying to ignore the bitter taste in her mouth at having withheld the truth from Zel. She had been as honest as possible - the only way to take the Star from Zelgadis was to break the bond between the stone and the chimera's soul. What she hadn't mentioned was that at the peak of the ritual, the stone would release its long-latent death magic, lashing out and killing Zel. This had been Vyrus' intent - but Shade's plan, however, was to draw the death magic into herself. After all, you couldn't kill what was already dead.

Removing her gloves, she traced the symbols in blood over his body with trembling hands. It was the master work of an artist - one that, if flawed, would result in both their deaths, but if perfect, would save one and satisfy the other. Praying to every god she'd ever heard of that she'd done nothing wrong, she knelt by him, placing his head in her lap, and continued with the foreign words, trying to keep her voice from quivering. The incantation was musical and flowing - essentially a song at this point - and came easily to her, though she had no idea what the words actually translated to. All she knew was that they were the only words that would save him.

One of the chips of rock embedded in Zelgadis' chest began to glow, resonating in the same notes as her voice did, then began to shift in its place, with a restless grinding noise. Like it was alive.

Shade almost faltered for a moment. It had never actually occurred to her that the stone would physically be with Zelgadis. But then, of course, it certainly made sense. The stone would have used its power to manipulate Zel's actions - probably just compelled him to carry it with him, not realising what it was - and then when Rezo had cast his spell, it would have seen and taken a chance to attach itself to him physically as well as spiritually. He never would have known, not for an instant...

And it was responding to the ritual - she could see the magical energy emanating from it, pulsing like a living creature. It was being torn away from Zel, if very reluctantly...

The chimera screamed, chest arching upward as if violently pulled by an invisible hand. The blood sigils painted on his body began to glow with a red light, triggered by the magic, and hers glowed in response to his as the stone lifted up into the air, floating there for a moment as if struggling to go back to him. Shade winced as the scream repeated, aware of how it was hurting him. Just a few moments, Zel, and it'll all be over...I promise...

Placing her hands on his forehead, she began the second spell, the one that would channel the death magic into her instead of him. She blocked out the sound of his cries, focusing entirely on the spell that meant the difference between his life and his death. This was the peak. This was the moment. This was when he was either freed or lost...

The voice caught her by surprise. There was no-one to own it - it simply echoed around her, coming from all directions at once - even within.

"You...you're the Star?" She hadn't been prepared for this. She knew it was intelligent, but Vyrus had never said anything about it talking...

The child is strong... the voice responded, ignoring her question. She has met us before, yet she survives to meet us again. She is strong indeed.

She was aware of Zelgadis, screaming and twisting in her hold - there was no time for these word games. "I'm strong enough to banish you back to your dark world!"

So, the voice became harsh and mocking. With what will you fight us, little child? How will you save the Bright One from what we wish to make him?

"See for yourself - even the physical form you have taken is no longer a part of him."

The voice grew angered, apparently realising the truth of her words. Then he will be destroyed!

"No." Her fingers, still tipped with wet blood, swiftly traced a last sigil, over her own forehead - the sigil that completed both spells. "You will be."

There was a horrible, unearthly scream, but she couldn't decide who it came from - the Star, herself, Zelgadis... or all three... and the floating stone exploded, disintegrating into a cloud of grey dust that showered over her, stealing for a moment her vision...

The haze cleared to reveal Zelgadis lying still, one tensed hand resting on his stone chest. She was numb for a moment, her mind refusing to process the possibility that she had made a mistake. But there! Rising, falling. He was breathing. He was alive.

"Li?" His voice, but she paid it no heed. She couldn't afford to...it was demanding all of her concentration just to remain upright...and now even that was becoming too much of an effort...

Unable to keep herself up, she collapsed across his chest, taking a last glimpse of his face into the darkness with her.

[ top ]

Chapter 5

"Will you stay with me, will you be my love?..."

When she woke up, she saw Zel's back. He was sitting down, staring out at the sky.

"I know what you are. I suspected it since we argued, but I didn't want to admit it - but when you cast your spell, when the stone left me, I remembered what happened twelve years ago. We found a stone, in a cave at the top of the falls. It was glowing, and I was afraid... but you never let yourself be scared of anything... so you touched it..." He bowed his head. "It killed you. We didn't realise what was happening - you started glowing... screaming... I tried to help you, but you told me to run away... and then it just tore you apart, like it was unmaking you from the inside out."

"Yes..." She nodded slowly. That was exactly how she remembered it - despite what she had always let Vyrus believe...

"I was going to tell you... I just thought you would have been happier if you thought I was still alive..."

"How long were you planning to leave it? I would have found out eventually. I'm not a magic-user for nothing."

"But there are two things I don't understand," Zel continued. "One, a ghost is bound to the place where it died. You shouldn't be able to leave that cave without fading away. And secondly, you've aged - you should still be eight years old. The only thing that could break either of those rules is magic, and for spells to be on you, someone must have cast them. Are you going to make me guess who?"

"This man who's trying to kill me - he's your master, isn't he? It would explain how you knew his plans, how you knew about the stone, how you knew the spell to save me."

"He was my master," she corrected him. "I worked for him, for ten years, right up until he found the bearer of the stone. But I swear, Zel, once I knew it was you, I left him. I would never, never hurt you again, not - "

"I know. I believe you - it's too late now for me to decide you're not trustworthy." That was certainly true. Looking back, he had taken a lot of what she had said on faith - he hadn't questioned her story for an instant. Maybe he had wanted to believe her, or to believe in her, so badly that he had convinced himself... well, either way, it didn't matter now. He had just placed his life in her hands, and he still seemed more or less intact.

"Come one," he gestured with a flick of his head that she should get up. "We shouldn't be wasting any time."

"The type of binding spell on you - from what I know - is cast on full moons, and only lasts for the month between them. We've got a week until you vanish." She was taken aback by how he put it - it was a cold statement of fact, as if he didn't care. He wasn't even angry at her.

"I know someone who can renew the spell, but they live a good distance from here. On foot, it would take months, but if I fly as far as I possibly can each day, we can make it in a week. I won't have the strength to do much else, but we'll make it in time." He smiled slightly, ironically. "You made a promise, Liala - you promised you'd never leave me again. Damned if I'm going to let you get away with breaking it."

Tears nearly came to her eyes. She couldn't believe it. This was more, much more than she'd ever hoped for. She had planned to save Zel, then be content to return to the other world. But this - the chance to remain with him...

"Remember, Zel? We're invincible! We decided that so long as we were together, we'd get through anything..."

Hours later, they touched down in a conveniently-placed clearing, Zelgadis immediately collapsing against a tree, completely exhausted. He wasn't sparing any of his energy, Shade noticed, as she turned her attention to building a small fire. If they were to run into any danger...

No. No thinking like that. They were going to make it. Everything was going to be okay now...

Suddenly, a sharp arrow of pain arced through her, dropping her to her knees with an inadvertent cry. Immediately, Zel was next to her. "Li! What's wrong?!"

"I... I don't know..." She felt weak, so weak... she couldn't move, could barely speak... the pain beat in her like the heart she no longer had...

She managed to look down at herself. Her body was fading in synchronization with the pain, throbbing in and out of reality. She was being pulled back? But it was too soon for that... too soon...

"You're fading!" The chimera, always so calm, was on the verge of panic. "But... you can't... you should have weeks... Ray Wing!" He forced his exhausted magic into action again, lifting her with him back into the air in a last, desperate burst.

"What?!" He demanded, just managing to dodge the top of a tall pine as it appeared in his low, wavering flight path. "Is this because of me?!"

"You, no," he replied helplessly. "The spells on you, yes! Death magic eats away at other magic... Liala... why did you have to..."

"No!" She was right, of course. In his normal, calm state, the chimera would have accepted that. But now, his long-repressed emotions had the better of him. He had to do something... anything, anything but sit around and let her die... again...

She dissolved. Not disappeared; just became un-solid, slipping through his body as if it - or she -had never existed, letting herself fall the twenty-or-so feet between the chimera and the nearest piece of earth, a small mountain. Immediately, he dropped the spell and himself, following her. They crashed into the mountain at almost the same time, neither ghost nor chimera taking any damage from the fall.

The exhausted Zel dragged himself to her side and tried to grasp her, with the intent of taking off again, but found his arms going straight through her.

"You can't... do... anything more... just rest..." Solid again, she had apparently found some strength with which to try to push him down. "Rest..."

"No..." He gripped her arms, hugging her tightly. "I can't lose you... not again..."

She saw his tears. Zelgadis had never cried, even when she had. But she couldn't do anything more than mirror them with her own. "Just... hold me..."

"But you'll be gone when I wake up..." He was so tired, so damn tired... he wasn't going to be able to stay awake long... but he wanted to be with her until the very last moment...

"Why did you come back to me?" He asked, as sleep forced his eyelids down. "You could have lived..."

"One day... a hundred years... it doesn't matter... I wouldn't... have spent it... any other way..."

She stayed until she knew he was asleep. Then she reached into her pack through the slowly-descending darkness. She couldn't keep her promise... but she would leave him something of her that would last forever...

Zel woke on the mountain, the sun warm on his face. There was a sheet of parchment near where he lay, a small stone sitting on one corner to hold it there.

He glared at it. Shade. Liala. How could she have done this to him? Returned after so long, only to leave him alone again - how could she make him live through it all over? His fists clenched. He had opened himself up to her, shown her what he was feeling like he had never done for anyone in as long as he could recall... and now this... bitterly, the irony occurred to him - such walls were built in the first place to keep out the pain of caring...

Stuffing Shade's letter under his shirt, he floated back to the ground with a heavy sigh. Back to Relgarna, then, to find Lina and Gourry. More people to be hurt by...

"Is it ever a relief to see you alive!" Lina cried, as she and Gourry ran up to him. "This creepy cleric told us there was a ghost after you, trying to kill you! Say, I wonder where she is? Oh, well - what's important is that she didn't get the chance to hurt you..."

With a hurt expression, followed the chimera as he abruptly turned and headed back toward the river, calling, "hey, Zel, what's wrong?". Gourry looked bewildered for a moment, then shrugged, and ran after his friends.

[ top ]

Chapter 6

"I've never made promises lightly,
And there have been some that I've broken,
But I swear, in the days still left,
We will walk in fields of gold."

The swordsman and the sorceress had apparently compensated for their chimera companion's melancholia by displaying double their usual enthusiasm. The duo were practically bouncing through the town as they searched for the appropriate place to eat.

The sorceress' eyes positively lit up. "We have a winner!" She sped toward her compatriot, leaving Zel to follow. "Zel, c'mon!"

Dinner was uneventful. Or rather, as uneventful as it could possibly be when Lina and Gourry had been inflicted upon it. Zel didn't eat much, and was careful that he drank even less, but his two companions seemed immensely satisfied when they finally staggered off to bed.

It wasn't until he retired to his own room for the night when a soft crunching sound reminded him that Shade's letter was still hidden under his shirt, untouched. With a soft sigh, he extracted and unfolded the parchment, wondering what she had left him...

There were no goodbyes, no formalities. Only a song, ink stained here and there with the marks of tears, the flowing script of her hand growing more and more shaky toward the end...

It was unfinished. That was where it suddenly cut out, a blot of ink indicating that the pen had been dropped at that point, and hadn't been picked up again.

He bowed his head. He was holding the last moments of her life in his hands, but he still didn't want to admit she was gone... he should finish the song she had started. That would create finality, give him closure. That would force him to accept the truth.

He had never been much of a songwriter, far too protective of his emotions to pour them out in words. But now they came to him as if he had always known them...

He found himself floating again, rising above his life and his body, leaving the world below him where he could forget about it. It was temporary, he knew - it was just a dream, and wouldn't last past morning. But he also knew that sometimes, dreams were as real as life...

Then he was shrouded in white feathers, and a warmth he usually shut out. It was her, standing with him again, smiling, holding his hand.

"Silly," she smiled, waving the wings that surrounded him. "I'm keeping my promise."

[ top ]

Ur... that's the end... but wait! Don't go yet! I still have to give you the full, original version of the song I left to Zel (which, incidentally, is known as The Song). I actually wrote it in 1998... or was it 97?... either way, it was just something I happened to come up with, when I was part of an extremely low-key band called Jade. When I needed a song for this story, some of the similarities just worked ('When flesh and blood yield stone' - ironic, ne?). So here it is. There's no real music to it as of yet, only this tune I have running through my head which is probably never going to be written down simply because I can't write music. But anyway...

Here also are the lyrics to Fields of Gold. Like I said before, it belongs to Sting. Eva Cassidy did a damn good job of it, tho'. I may have made some mistakes, since I don't have the lyrics myself and am quoting by ear.

The Song

When the wayward artist cries her last tears,
When the fiery poet dies,
When the restless writer lies down to sleep,
And the verses written are faded,

When the wanderers come home to the shore,
When flesh and blood yield stone,
When the saviours all have flown to the skies,
And the sinners are left to the night,

(chorus)
That's when you are the only thing left of me,
When you are the words of the song,
When yours is the only light I can see,
And I know all that I love can't be wrong,
And you are the song

When the soldier throws his sword to the ground,
When the final child is born,
When the melody is worn past repair,
And the words are lost to the wind

When the shadows of the sun disappear,
When the war waged long is won,
When the world comes down to nothing at last,
And life just begins to begin,

Fields of Gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves,
Among the fields of barley,
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky,
When we walked in fields of gold.

So she took her love for to gaze a while,
Among the fields of barley,
In his arms she fell as her hair came down,
Among the fields of gold.

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley?
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky,
When we walked in fields of gold.

I've never made promises lightly,
And there have been some that I've broken,
But I swear in the days still left,
We will walk in fields of gold,
We'll walk in fields of gold.

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley,
See the children run as the sun goes down,
As you lie in fields of gold.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley,
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky,
When we walked in fields of gold,
When we walked in fields of gold,
When we walked in fields of gold.

The Days Still Left

A Slayers fanfic by Fox Lee

Opening Notes

Synopsis

Legal crap

Timespan

E-mail

Gimmicky promo stuff

The Days Still Left

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Closing Notes:

The Song

Fields of Gold